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Southpark is a little town in the mountains somewhere. It has a couple of excellent characters, and we watch it and we laugh and we wait for the next one.

You either love it or you are old.

More sounds will be added if I feel compelled to do so.

Play the coolest game on the Internet: Cartmans Struggle!
It's a really cool java applet that means you just wait a moment and it starts up right in your browser window! New on the Net.



Click here



To load the sounds below of Mp3 format, you should get Sonique or some other brilliant player. It will also play the Wav files, which is good.

Name:   Description Sound type: Sounds:
Cartman cartman Fat kid that mocks everybody & everything. Deserves everything he gets. Famous quotes: "Screw you guys, I'm going home" "Kickass!" "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcake. BEEFCAKE!"
I'm not fat...
Stan wants to kiss...
Kenny kenny He doesn't ever say anything except mumble, and only those in Southpark know what he's saying. He gets killed in nearly every episode, and Stan and Kyle usually say "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! You bastards!" Famous quote: "Mrhm hrmh mh hrmh hrm umh" Laxative effects
Kyle kyle Kyle Brovlovski is the guy that usually says "You bastards!" when Kenny is killed. He's a Jew and every now and then he sees a little christmas poo called Mr Hanky. You wanna know what I think?...
Stan stan Stan gets sick every time he is about to Kiss Wendy Testaburger. He has a little brother called Ike. Quote "Kick the baby! Kick the baby!" Oh my God!...
Chef chef He's the kids chef in the school, and their personla advisor sortof. Nearly every episode he starts singing, and various hits include "Chocolate salty balls" and "When a man loves a woman". Get the lyrics below. Good and drunk...
Mr Garrison garrisonmr hat Along with Mr Hat, he teaches the kids in the school. He has a sick sense of humour and seems to be gay, although he swears that it is Mr Hat that is gay. Quotes: "I'm Mr Hat! And you're, you're a little turd! You hear me? You go to hell, you go to hell and you die!" "Lets all point at Stan and laugh, children. Ha ha ha ha ha" I'm Mr Hat...
Officer Barbrady Officer Barbrady This stupid cop governs Southpark. He covers up any conspiracies going on. He once solved the mystery of the "chicken fucker" shortly after learning to read. Quote "OK everybody, move along please, nothing to see here" Cows turn themselves inside out all the time
Pip Pip Pip is an English exchange student in the school, and nobody likes him. He is always last to get everything, like the time Chef (the coach during a football game) thought Pip didn't need a helmet and Pip got a bit mauled. Quote "It's not right to make fun of foreigners. Besides, I hate the French."    
Uncle Jimbo He is Stans uncle, and he is into hunting and explosive devices. He went to 'nam with Ned, and since then they've been a little weird. He sometimes buys illegal explosives for the kids. Jimbo has been really pissed off since they restricted his hunting practises. He has a solution though. Quote: (whilst hunting a deer) "Oh my God! It's coming right for us! (BOOM!)" It's coming right for us!
Ned Has to speak using a little box because of all the fags he smoked in 'nam. He is also missing an arm. He aids Jimbo in everything he does. Quotes: "I'll never use a gun again. (BOOM! Kenny gets shot.)" I'll never use a gun again...
Wendy Testaburger Stans girlfriend. She always wants to do something romantic with Stan, but Cartman and Kyle, etc, don't want him to. Stan isn't even sure himself. Quote: "I told her, don't fuck with Wendy Testaburger! Hehehe!"    
Jesus Jesus presents his own TV show Jesus & Friends, which isn't very popular for some reason. Many of his managers attempts to boost ratings include Jesus & Friends becoming a Springer-type chat show, which Jesus can't really handle. Quote: "Um, I don't really want to fight you, Satan, you know"    
Mayor Mayor of Southpark. Usually resonsible for any major wrong-doings in the town. Is a bit slow sometimes. Quote: "Get out of my office!" Mayors helper: "I'm not in your office, mayor, I'm speaking through the intercom". Mayor: "You're fired, smartass!" Mayor, the geologist is here...
Ike Little brother of Kyle. Was once abducted by Aliens, as was Cartman. Quote: "Goo goo ga haaa"    



Opening theme:

Les: I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
Stan and Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.
Les: Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.
Cartman: Ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbour.
Les: Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.
Kenny: Hmm mph rmph rm hmm mph rmph rm hmm mph rmph rm.
Les: So, come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.

(Hear it in RealAudio)


Chocolate salty balls:

Hey everybody have you seen my balls,
They're big and bouncy and brown,
If you ever need a pick, pick them up
Just put my balls in your mouth
OOh, chocolateeee, chocolate salty balls,
Put em in your mouth and suck and suck em...

(Hear it in RealAudio)


When a man loves a woman...

When a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man,
(actually, sometimes a man doesn't love a woman,
but he acts like he does in order to get some action, huhu)
The magic starts to happen,
And the two take off their clothes,
Thats right,
They caress and touch each other,
Until the part of that man grows,
Ooh, they roll around and now things are really startin to, getting hot,
and the man says "I love you"
and the woman says "hold on a second I gotta go to the bathroom"
And so you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait... and you wait and you wait and you wait,
You wait and you're cooling down and she's just goin to the bathroom,
Finally she comes back, and she says "Baby, I'm gettin' hot"
And that's when you gotta jam her foot and pump her full of...
WHAT?? Who the hell did that to my mum at the drunken barn dance??

(Hear it in RealAudio)


Kyles Mum is a bitch in D minor:

Garison: The new law states that we can't sing any songs to do with Jesus OR Santa Claus
Cartman: Thanks to Kyles mother...
Kyle: Shutup Cartman!
Garison: So does anybody know any none Santa or none Jesus Christmas songs?.. Yes Eric?
Cartman: How bout we sing "Kyles Mom is a stupid bitch", in D minor
Kyle: I told you not to call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
Cartman: Oh ho!
Welllll, Kyles moms a bitch, shes a big fat bitch
Shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
Shes a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch
Shes a bitch to all the boys and girls!
Kyle: Shutup Cartman!
Mr Hanky: Hidey ho!
Kyle: Mr Hanky!
Cartman: Mondays shes a bitch, on Tuesdays shes a bitch,
And Wednesdays and Saturdays shes a bitch
Then on Sundays thats the difference between
The stupid bitch and may-a may-a!? Big bitch!
Mr Hanky: Golly, that isn't very nice! I'd sure like to teach him a lesson!
Cartman: Have you ever met my friend Kyles mom
Shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
Shes a mean old bitch and she has a stupid hitch
Shes a big big big big big big bitch
Big big big big big big and shes a stupid bitch
Kyles moms a bitch and shes just a girly bitch
Kyles mom is a bitch!!!
Kyle: Mr Hankey, NO!
Mr Hanky: SCREEEAAAMMM! (Splat)

(Hear it in RealAudio)


Go to the links page for some "neato" links to other Southpark pages. And play the Java game!

Mail me

David Brookes 1999